A Letter to Myself After Walking Away From My Abusive Relationship

Written by Writer’s Corps member Amanda Phillips

[This is a letter written to the woman I was 9 months ago. These are the things she needed to hear, and that I can now put a voice to after months of therapy and healing space. This is everything I wish someone had said to me on the morning after I left my abusive relationship.]

Dear Amanda, 

First of all, take a deep breath. There are a lot of things that you need to do right now, and the first one is to just breathe. Second of all, take your time. Get out of bed slowly, if and when you are able. When you do, take a look at the woman in the mirror. She has a whole world to rebuild. If that sounds daunting, try to reallocate that weight to be hopeful for the new and beautiful things that I can see from where we are now. It’s going to take some time for you to get here, and that time will not always be easy, and that’s okay. Healing is like that. Third – and you may not be ready to believe this yet, but we’ve got to break the ice on this – none of this was your fault.

You thought you could fix him; save him. You thought that if you stayed, he would finally love you in the right way, instead of the way that kept you isolated, and up at night, and hiding things. You offered that man every square inch of warmth in your heart. The fact that it didn’t heal him says nothing of any insufficiency on your part, and everything of how cold and despondent he really must have been, despite your best efforts to see the situation in any other light. 

Here’s what you need to know. Not to spoil the ending, but your life has absolutely expanded in his absence. But his departure doesn’t get the credit for that; your life would have expanded regardless. You know who you are, what your purpose on this planet is, what you deserve, where you’re headed, what you are worth. You have always known, and those things were never contingent on his staying or leaving, but it sure is easier to hear all of that without his voice in your ear constantly telling you that you are too much, to slow down on your dreams, or:

“That didn’t happen.

And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.

And if it was, it’s not a big deal.

And if it is, it wasn’t my fault.

And if it was, I didn’t mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.”

That voice is gone now. I know you don’t really know what to do without it, but hear this – there are better, kinder, more truthful voices coming to take its place. You don’t have to listen that one, The Wrong One, anymore – and I’m sorry that you ever felt like you had to in the first place. The good news is that you found the strength to walk away from it; that was a hard thing, even though most people talk about it like it should have been a really easy decision. They mean that with love; only some people really know the extent of the hold he had on you, the power of abuse, and even fewer people know the whole story, which is that he stripped you of your identity and made it sound like he was doing you a favor, made you feel like you had to stay, and even worse — that you had to keep how terrible things really were all to yourself — and you spent months too paralyzed to look for a way out.

But you did find it — the courage to leave, rather than exist in a world where you took whatever you could get and accepted that you were merely tolerable instead of exquisite and radiant and unstoppable, which are all things you only realized that you are after he left and you had to wake up in a quiet house and look in the mirror again.

His house was cold; his heart even moreso. There were no mirrors on the walls there, though. You couldn’t see the strong woman in the mirror. You’ll wonder later if this was intentional.

But it’s your first morning. It’s your first morning turning over a new leaf. And it’s really hard here. The girl you’re looking at in the mirror – I know that she’s terrified. Be there. Be terrified for a minute – or angry, scared, sad. Feel those things, and stay with them until you figure out what they have to teach you. It would be really easy to just call and let him back in for the 400thtime, and start the whole cycle over, which he will invite you to do, peppered with the same old things he doesn’t mean like, “I’m sorry” and, “it was the bourbon” and, “but you’re the love of my life.”

You may have been, but he wasn’t yours, and that is all released to the wind now.
There is actual love out there.
You have so much of it within you; nurture that for a while. Breathe. Take your time. 

None of this was your fault, but oh, you will grow from it. 
The girl in the mirror will smile again, soon enough. 
She will find joy, and pour herself into things that will flourish.
The anger and fear and confusion will pop their heads in from time to time.
They’re still around, but they will be the white noise behind laughter, 
singing in the car, life stories in coffee shops, 
or under the stars.

Life will be abundant again. Write that on the mirror, in case she forgets. 
— in case she forgets that love is coming.

Love,

Yourself. Always.

Lupus Warrior or Worrier

So I never put out a prayer request or complain about my health as much as I actually experience health issues... but let me explain how lupus is a “silent illness”. We appear okay even when we are not and sometimes we are okay at lunch but by dinner we are in the ER. 

Here’s an example-  I went out for dinner and drinks with new friends two days ago. You probably saw the pics...but you didn’t see the part with me sitting down in agony and them taking care of me with copious amounts of water and lemons (oh and they hunted down peppermint too). I even went to work yesterday sick and smiling (and well dressed might I add- after gaining 12 pounds in two weeks and almost crying bc I couldn’t fit my intended dress) ...but my coworkers expressed some concern about the strange sound that didn’t sound like any kind of sound they’d heard before (probably bc they think it’s actually my heart and my lungs in tandem) that I dismissed- of course...

I posted on FB  yesterday and this morning like all is well (it is actually) not wanting to tell the world that I’m in the hospital- yet again- for fighting phucking lupus. 

I hate lupus. 

I hate hate hate hate lupus.

I try to smile and press through, keep my faith,  and I do try to listen to my body. I will admit (yes I’m confessing) I feel embarrassed and ashamed for being struck with this damn chronic illness. I feel ashamed for sometimes being scared when I am a woman of strong faith. I hear constantly that faith and fear don’t mix so I dig in to speak life over myself and claim my healing but I actually do get scared. 

Then there’s this-  I was taught by my mom to do all things with grace. I try to make it appear easy. Therefore, I don’t want to complain, always have people worry, give updates on my health status, because- as much as I get sick and go in the hospital with this horrible illness-  i realize it is easy for anyone outside to misinterpret my intentions and to even add “she doesn’t look sick” or “she wants attention” or “here we go again”. 

So instead- while sick-  I work. I do my house work. I shop. I attempt to dance. I exercise. I sing. I laugh, and I do yoga. Why?...  because I am a fighter. I’m a #lupuswarrior BUT ... I landed my butt back in the hospital AGAIN. 

Not only am I embarrassed to call out of work, I am embarrassed to spend a day in bed healing myself- because I was taught that laying around means you’re lazy.. I am afraid to be a burden to anyone and I am also afraid of being judged. 

The saddest part for me is that I pretend to feel good just so I don’t push people away by being sick. Someone said that true friends and those that matter will never walk away from you because you’re ill. I’ve read of countless people who have lost husbands, wives, family, friends, their jobs, their livelihood, and dare I say, their futures all because of lupus!

So YES!  I need your prayers. I need prayers to stop beating myself up and worrying others will get tired of having a sick me in their lives. I know God as HEALER. 

My biggest problem is ME. So yes pray for me please. Thank you. 

Just Be

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the need to "get things done", accomplish enormous tasks, or even just "stay busy"? Have you ever asked yourself, "why?"

Many of us have a tendency to be less than content with our current status, no matter how much we have actually accomplished any given day or even over the span of years. We are always pondering the next step, attempting to plan and to coordinate, often times bringing others into our great idea or plan, while placing unnecessary stress on ourselves and on others we have involved.

Today's society is one of immediate gratification and multi-tasking. We press a button on the telephone and can see and talk to our loved one. We press another button on the phone to send a quick text, while still on the phone with another person! We can even press another button to order a driver to pull up and either take us somewhere or drop off food or other items! We can press buttons and make things happen. When we get tired of those things, there's even another button to press to move us onto fulfilling our next moment with pictures, movies, memes.. you get the idea.

The constant button pushing and gratification instills in us the need to always stay busy or to plan. When it becomes overwhelming, it is a huge indicator that we must ground ourselves in the present moment and "just be".

When we feel like we must constantly press forward to the next moment or plan for the next day, we miss the opportunity to appreciate ourselves, our lives, and our present step on our paths. 

"Mindfulness" is a word you may have heard or maybe have even practiced from time to time. To be mindful is rather paradoxical, because you are actually getting "out of your mind" as opposed to "into your mind".

Mindfulness is not equated to reflecting on appreciating ourselves; instead it helps us to reflect on the beauty, the calmness, the peace and joy that exists in the present. We then appreciate through our inaction. We become less anxious and more productive.

How? How can I not plan, not execute, but become more productive?

A mind at rest is able to reset.  A mind at rest is able to look at a hummingbird suspended in the air while sipping on the delicious nectar of a beautiful flower. A mind at rest is able to hear the still voice speaking to us that leads us and guides us on our journey. A mind at rest is able to take in the wonderful sensations the Creator has given us through our five (six if you're wise- smile) senses. When we quiet our minds and observe the world around us, a miraculous transformation takes place. We begin to have greater clarity. We are able to tap into our peace and our joy.

We learn to be content in this present moment.

We often think that when we accomplish the next thing, when we meet and marry the next person, when we land the next job, when we amass a certain amount of money, we will be happy and content. Mindfulness reminds us that our peace and our joy are already here, already within, not somewhere "out there" to which we must strive.

Mindfulness gives us the ability to change our perspective, to heal ourselves, to replenish, and to rejuvenate. Mindfulness eases anxiety and helps to get rid of automatic thoughts, even ruminating thoughts that cause us distress.

When was the last time you "stopped to look at the roses?" Have you become so busy with thinking that you have lost the desire to just observe?

1. Have you stopped to listen? What do you hear?
2. Have you stopped to smell? What do you smell?
3. Have you stopped to look? What do you see?
4. Have you stopped to feel? How does your body feel? How does your bottom feel in your seat, your back on your bed? How do your teeth feel when you brush them?
5. Have you stopped to taste? How fast do you eat your meals and snacks? Do you take the time to savor them, the sweetness, the sour, the bitter, the hint of saltiness, etc.?

Allow yourself to "just be".We are here...now... and this is a great place to be.

There is an old adage that says "slow down and smell the coffee." Obviously those who have traveled this road before us knew the benefit of mindfulness, of staying in the moment, for appreciating everything around us.

So pick, to start, at least 15 minutes of each day to just sit and quietly observe those things that are outside of yourself.

Sit in silence and just listen. You will be suprised by what you will hear.

You will then see your life- transform- you will "just be'.

For the queens who are mirrors to our kings

I’ve never been one to worry about how much money a man makes, but when you are in the ”upper echelon of society” (as they explain when you begin a doctorate program), you have to recognize anyone who isn’t in or above your tax bracket won’t be able to accept that there is no competition, that you are not trying to be smarter than them, or that you don’t think you’re better than them. 

I do not judge anyone for their educational level or their net worth, but I have learned a valuable lesson from ignoring the warnings of those great minds who came before me.

A lot of insecurities arise when you don’t “need” a man and you’re already doing things he has never even experienced.. So now your “man” has become your biggest competitor. His nature gives him the desire to lead and provide. He finds his worth in the provision... so if you don’t need him to be your provider, he’s forced to accept that he is loved as his authentic self. 

That’s when the insecurities comes out...Some men cannot handle knowing they cannot give you the lifestyle you can give yourself (or more) AND others can’t accept your motivation to help them increase their net worth through investments or business ventures. 

Some men don’t understand how to be loved without being financially needed. 

You have to get to the point where you realize money actually is an issue, even when there are no money problems. Some people have been raised to survive and are content with a little extra, but they are still afraid to soar, to achieve greatness, to even dream or execute a vision. They are afraid of their own limitless potential, because they’re afraid to fail. 

Beware of those people. You can be their friends, even best friends, but avoid the bitterness that comes when your “success” forces them to not only strive for more, but also to look in the mirror to find their authentic selves. You are their mirror! They may not even know who they are when the provider role is removed.

We grow spiritually and awaken to ourselves at different paces. I pray my own blessings will inspire others to greatness, and I’m still striving for even greater. 

I will NEVER judge anyone for stagnation or contentment, and I pray they learn to know they are worth so much more. I pray they remember that God has promised us all lives better than we could ever imagine. I pray all kings (and queens) stand on God’s promises. You are our helpmates but God is our Source! 

To the kings- Never grow bitter with someone who is sent to make you realize there is so much more to life if you’d only allow yourself to know who you are when money and degrees and job titles are removed from the equation. When a QUEEN like me sees a KING for who he is..  he needs to know none of those things matter.. still- Never stop growing. Never stop leveling up! Chase your dreams and allow your queen to inspire you and motivate you to greatness. We are here to remind you YOU ARE A KING and are capable of achieving the unimaginable - with God leading the way! 

Be Thankful: Gratitude Check

All around us are alarming stories of tragedy and of loss, but have we become so desensitized to death and loss?

Television reports of mass murders, hurricanes, floods, wildfires, police shootings, missing children, carjackings, home invasions, murder suicides, and other tragedies show us what’s happening in the world BUT have you stopped to think about the people affected by these tragedies?

Have you taken a defensive stance against protecting your life, limb, and home without really reflecting on the impact such a tragedy would have on you and the ones you love?

Take for a moment to look around and take an inventory of what you have... where will you start?

Is it your house? Your car? Your family? These are the most obvious things for which we are thankful, yet we still often fail to show appreciation to others in our family.

When was the last time you woke up and thanked God for your house or your car, your spouse, or your child?? Some of us operate in gratitude and continuously give thanks for all things and for everyone. The sad fact is that the closest we are to our last close call or our last loss- the more gratitude we express.

Now let’s examine even further our gratitude.

Have you ever been thankful for your bed? After a long hard day at work and driving home in the rain, people often say they can’t wait to get home to their beds. What about a regular day? What if something happened that caused you to lose your house? What if your home was blown away? Would you miss your bed and all of your other belongings that were blown away with the force of the wind or flooded beyond repair?

There are many people who pray for what you have.

You name it, someone is praying for it right now. The child that causes you so much stress, the wife who keeps nagging you to build that swing, the husband who alwayss misses the basket when he throws his work clothes on the floor.... I can go on.

There is someone praying for the love and companionship of a spouse. There are also those mourning the loss of children and spouses to senseless acts of crime; even suicide and illness have taken people away from those who love them.... we often hear “tell your family you love them while they are still alive” (and you are too).

May we translate that also into give God thanks and praise for the people in your life- no matter how challenging?

People are quick to make jokes about those less fortunate.

Some pick on people who love in trailer parks. Some pick on people who sleep on air mattresses, but what if you found yourself in the middle of a tragedy, attempting to put all the pieces together? Imagine looking at the rubble that used to be your home and wondering where you will lay your head. Even if you found yourself fortunate to stay in a hotel, because you were loaded with insurance and savings, would you still miss your bed, your house, and all of your belongings?

 Have you thanked God for those things?

Take a moment to write out a list of everything you could lose in the blink of an eye......


Now. Give God praise for each of these things. Vow to never again make fun of or judge another based on what they do not have. You could be next.

God works in mysterious ways.

Be thankful. Practice gratitude..

Self-Love through Spiritual Growth- A reflective exercise

If someone were to ask you if you love yourself, your response would likely be "of course". But are you sure?

Sometimes God will put us in situations to learn how to truly love ourselves. Often times, God will use someone we love to show us how to love ourselves. Take for example a relationship that you've endured in which you stayed in way too long.

Was there some point that you "woke up" and said "I deserve better than this?"

Are you still settling, holding out that someone will change and eventually treat you the way you want/deserve to be treated?

Leaving a toxic relationship or other toxic environment (e.g., a job) is an act of self-love. What we must remember is that had we truly loved ourselves, we would not have allowed ourselves to stay in these toxic relationships/environments for long.

Self-love involves knowing our worth. 

Self-love involves deciding not to settle.

Self-love involves setting boundaries.

Most of all, self-love involves knowing what to and what not to accept.

Although there may be someone else who pushes us to the point of leaving, this someone else is a mirror unto ourselves. This someone else tests our self-love. 

When we find ourselves afraid to set boundaries for fear of being abandoned, we have some growth to do. What are we afraid of? This situation causes us to examine our fears and the root of our fears. Remember, perfect love casts out all fear. 1 John 4:18

When we find ourselves allowing ourselves to feel "less than", "unappreciated", "taken for granted", "inferior", "unworthy", we are not loving ourselves. 

What keeps us in situations where we feel "less than"? God says you are the head and not the tail, above and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13). But what must you do to allow yourself to truly feel that way? The verse shares the solution "if you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and closely follow them..." What is God telling you about the relationship/environment? Is He telling you to leave?

It is vital that we view ourselves and our relationships/situations from a spiritual lens. This is what leads to growth. It is unlearning all of the negative things we've been taught about life and about ourselves and instead focusing on God's Word regarding our self-image and promises for our lives.

What has God told us about who we are? 

I am the Creator and you are my creation. I breathed into your nostrils the breath of life (Genesis 2:7). I created you in my own image (Genesis 1:27). My eyes saw your unformed substance (Psalm 139:16). I knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). I know the number of hairs on your head, and before a word is on your tongue I know it (Matthew 10:30; Psalm 139:4). You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

Have you ever stopped to ask, “What does God think about me? Who does he say that I am?”

YOU ARE VALUABLE

You are more valuable than many sparrows (Matthew 10:31). I have given you dominion over all sheep and oxen and all beasts of the field and birds of the heavens and fish of the sea (Psalm 8:6–8; Genesis 1:26, 28). I have crowned you with glory and honor as the pinnacle and final act of the six days of creation (Psalm 8:5; Genesis 1:26).

  

What has God promised you? Are you living the life He promised?

I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.  John 10:10

Take a moment to reflect on these things......

Now, recognize that anytime you feel in opposition about what God says about you, you are not practicing self-love. Anytime you feel inferior, unworthy, etc., you are outside of God's declaration of you as a child of the Most High God. 

You must accept your worth in the eyes of God before you can feel worthy of HIS Promises. Abundance of life is not about money, but God promises you abundant peace, abundant joy, abundance in all areas of your life, so that your life may be full. 

Why are you giving away your peace and joy by remaining in a situation that is stealing it?

When you no longer settle, when you no longer tolerate being treated poorly, when you no longer attempt to hold out under the guise of suffering for someone else to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, then you can truly say you love yourself. You truly have experienced the self-love that leads to self-growth.

Meditate on these things to experience the spiritual growth that leads to increased self-love.

KjB

Whose glasses are these?

Social Work, as any other profession, carries its own Code Of Ethics. What sets social workers apart, while applying this Code of Ethics, is our uncanning ability to recognize the person in the environment( a.k.a. Ecosystemic perspective). As Social Workers we remain focused on our clients/consumers as we assist them through interactions with systems within their own ecosystems.

As we attempt to advocate for our clients/consumers within different systems (e.g. Juvenile Justice, Family and Children Sevices, and education) we may observe that each system has its own view of "the problem". For example, several parents with whom I work, feel helpless when navigating the system of juvenile justice due to its tendency to observe problematic behaviors in children/adolescents as a "parenting issue". Parents experience shame after being questioned about their discipline practices, how they supervise their adolescents while working overtime or two jobs, and etc. One must step back and consider how these often conflicting views affect our clients/consumers and parents' views of themselves.

Often times when we become involved, parents have already been accused of creating or not doing enough to circumvent the "problems" their children display. When we "meet them where they are" we find we meet them beaten down by the traditional systems they lean on for support.

Certainly, not every educator views "the problem" from a specific lens; most educators do view problematic behaviors in school as a need to contact parents to "intervene".

Development of IEPs, although not the first proactive measure, includes testing and recommendations through a psychoeducational evaluation by a psychologist who may or may not take precipitating factors into consideration. Psychologists may provide recommendations based on their findings and some provide a diagnosis based on self report and standardized testing. However psychologists also have a different "lens" as their own profession emphasizes on the child as the "patient" or "the problem".

Parent teacher conferences may discuss ways to assist the consumer with being more focused on education and may even elicit a screening for special education/student supports. Support usually begins with requesting the parent to serve as an enforcer of the school's rules to include completion of homework, lectures of respecting teachers, staying on task, and etc.
Parents may become overwhelmed when their main goal is to get their children up and dressed and on a school bus and or to even have their children come home after school. Too often parents begin to "trust the authority" of the school system to make decisions regarding their child's behaviors, hoping to address "the problem" from an educator's point of view. As a result the development of IEPs are often created from the psychologists and educators perspective.

Even as advocates we as Social
Workers are faced with attempting to have other systems view our clients and families through our Social Worker lenses. By tradition, we are considered those who "want to save the world" by the same systems that are in place to be an extension of socialization and support for our clients and families.
We may assist in the developments of the IEP, and make recommendations to the probation officer or DFCS. We may all feel that everything is addressed and everyone's happy discussing lunch options and networking. The next day our clients/families are seen through the specific lens of the same system which we visited the day prior. The next "incident" then becomes the catalyst that perpetuates the cycle many parents experience with the systems responsible for coordinating their children's care.

Luckily, there are Social Workers in all systems. There are school Social
Workers, Social Workers who serve as probation officers, special education teachers who are also Social Workers, Social
Worker attorneys, and etc.

After years of facing a beaurocracy that encompasses a different view of the "problem" the ecosystemic perspective may get tucked away as our colleagues attempt to work within their individual beurocratic systems. Some of our very own colleagues have their own lenses tainted by the experience in their dual systems that any hope of incorporating a view of the person in the environment while providing services becomes lost.

As Social Workers we must always remain aware of the different perspectives of which our consumers are intertwined. We are generally involved for brief intervention services and will not always be around to advocate for our clients. We must empower our consumers and families to recognize when a systematic perspective affects their desired outcomes through interactions with these systems.

Without such education our consumers/families will continue to face the same perceived adversaries and possibly return to a state of helplessness. Most importantly, however, is that we charge the Social Workers who work in these systems to help address this mismatch of views with those who provide direct assistance to our clients/families. Continue to advocate, to educate, to serve as liaisons between systems. Please do not let your lenses be tainted by your lived experience in these systems. You are forever a Social Worker! After all we really do strive to "save the world".

Kelly J Brown,LMSW

It's okay if you know it's okay!

In the world we live in, it becomes easy to get discouraged. We often ask ourselves why a loving God will allow for so much suffering. We are told that to suffer is to be more like Christ who suffered for our sins. However, the Love of God does not translate to suffering and pain to those who truly know God as LOVE.

It is impossible to know the mind of God as His ways are Higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts. However, it is our view of situations and circumstances that cause our reaction, beliefs, and/or states of awareness regarding all things.

 It is our perception of events that causes us to accept one incident as a blessing and another as pure suffering. How then do you view the trials and tribulations that come into your life?
Do you immediately respond with sorrow, fear, complexity of confusion?

Do you fluctuate between faith and hope and disbelief and worry?

Do you beat yourself up for your "human nature" that causes you to question your worthiness as a strong man or woman of faith when you find yourself experiencing the pain and sorrow that comes with some of the most incomprehensible events of your life?

Ask yourself, however, how often you have found yourself in this same position emotionally and spiritually?

How often have you felt this way?

Is this feeling not becoming familiar to you?

Look back on the times you have been here before and look at yourself now... Haven't you always made it through?

 Haven't you been blessed beyond measure despite the adversity?

Although life has not always been comfortable and every day not a perfect one of peace and abundance, haven't you always been "okay"?

In the Midst of It All

An interesting phenomenon occurs when we find ourselves in the midst of twists and turns in what we thought was a direct path to our destinies. We see these events as devastating. Sure! We are moved by our emotional reaction to these events, but when we stop to really reflect on the goodness of God in the midst of it all, we are always able to locate His Love for us being magnified. It becomes a relatively difficult task, however, to focus on the goodness of the Most High, to be thankful and to hold on to the fact that through every other situation in our lives, no matter how uncomfortbale, we have always been "okay". It becomes a challenge to us to not allow our thoughts to control us, thoughts of how these events befell us, how we could or could not have prevented these events, what we should have or could have done differently, what life will be like after these events, what these events mean about us, our character, our relationships with those we love. We over-exaggerate the impact of our own situations on our livelihood, as if each twist and turn has a terrible cause with a terrible effect to come. However, we must still give thanks, we must still know that ALL IS WELL AND IN DIVINE ORDER. We must know that the inevitable changes that occur on our path are changes to which we will eventually adjust. We have to become more accepting, more willing to accept that what we thought was one way may actually be a different way regarding our lives and our futures. However, in the midst of it all, in the midst of all the changes, all the 'difficult' times, that GOD never changes. GOD's LOVE never fails. In the midst of it all, GOD remains the same. In that thought alone, we may find solace, faith, and serenity. GOD is still GOD. This too shall pass...

Step out on Faith: by KjB

Is God urging you through your experience, thoughts, dreams, or gentle nudging that He wants you to do more? How are you spending your talents and gifts to advance the Children of The Most High God, to leave a legacy of God's love on earth that will impact generations to come? These visions and dreams are the desires that God has placed in your heart.

One common misconception when one reads "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4) is to believe that translates into God will give me whatever I want (desire). Very wrong, indeed.

This phrase actually means that as you line your life up to God's Divine Will and develop the character of His Word, you begin to walk into your destiny and live in your purpose. As a result, the desires (burning on the inside of you) are changed. God PLANTS these desires within you!

What, then, has God been urging you to do, to go higher~ to move from glory to glory? If these desires have been revealed to you, what is stopping you?

FEAR? Fear is not of God! It is a manipulation of the mind, to paralyze you from moving forward, from impacting others, from giving God glory.

God does not instill in us a spirit of FEAR but of a STRONG mind. When we truly embrace the concept of Hebrews 11:11...now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen... We may activate the POWER God has given us to co-create our own destinies!!!

Take that vision, that dream, that desire that God placed upon your heart and start praising God today as if it has already come to pass!!

Meditate on that strong positive emotion (the strong mind) and watch your desires manifest. This is the true substance of faith.... Creating the attainable. With God All Things Are Possible!

STEP OUT ON FAITH! GOD HAS PLANTED IT IN YOUR SPIRIT~ GIVEN YOU A VISION! USE YOUR FAITH TO BRING THESE THINGS TO FRUITION!

Why stay stagnant/paralyzed with fear?Commit daily to tap into the power of the Most High. He has equipped you with everything you need to propel yourself forward.

Remember! Keep your mind on the end result and fear not the journey or how you will get there.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

Is Christ Consciousness Christian? Do I have to be a Christian to achieve Christ Consciousness?

From: http://www.ctrforchristcon.org/christ-consciousness.asp

The highest state of intellectual development and emotional maturity is sometimes termed the “christed” state because of the sacredness and purity of the individual who has achieved it. Jesus achieved this in his human life, and was given this term before his name as the recognition of his achievement of this spiritual status. This path is open to anyone regardless of their religious tradition if and when he or she is open to become a living vessel of LOVE and TRUTH on the planet and actively strives to attain it.

This is not a term used exclusively in the Christian religion, nor does it mean that you must adhere to the Christian belief system to attain this state. All of the world’s religious traditions offer a path to achieving this “christed” status, and people are free to find their way in the context of their religious choice. What is significant to remember here is that each person has his and her own path to finding Spirit, and to open to allowing that path to unfold naturally. Sometimes people find their way within the context of certain religious beliefs that the major world’s religions offer; some people will find their way by blending some beliefs together in a unique and innovative way. All ways and paths are honored if they lead a person into becoming more loving, forgiving, patient, kind, compassionate, tolerant, and happy. All paths of LOVE lead to the same Source of All That Is. We all share the same Creator-Source as living expressions of that Source Personality and we all are moving back home to unite with our Source.

Christ consciousness is the state of awareness of our true nature, our higher self, and our birthright as children of God. Christ consciousness is our living expression as a child of Spirit as we unfold our own divine life plan onto the earth plane: bringing heaven to earth. Living in the reality of our “christed” self is actually being fully alive and invested in who we truly are. In our “christed” self we live as inspiration for others to seek this for themselves so we can collectively move our planet forward into the divine plan for planetary transformation and glorification.

Jesus: The Inspiration for Human Life

It is the goal of human life to evolve toward Spirit. This is the journey that unfolds over the course of one’s lifetime—it is the adventure of moving from time and space to eternity. Spirit ever reaches into the hearts and minds of humans to urge us to choose the ascension path to unite with the Source of Creation. One way Spirit does this is to incarnate as a human to reveal Spirit’s personality to humanity to serve as encouragement to discover and walk the path of Spirit. God actually steps down into the skin of a human to show us the way back home. The person who fulfilled this role for us is Jesus.

Jesus’ teachings centered around helping people find their own internal source of Spirit. He lived what he taught. He was the embodiment of love and goodness, peace and understanding. His God-centeredness allowed him to achieve what we consider miracles because he understood the natural laws of the universe and was able to tap into the great power of love to bring healing to people. He practiced meditation and prayer to gain strength to meet the challenges of daily life. He consistently showed love, kindness, patience, gentleness to others and encouraged them to open to the Spirit within themselves. He said, “The kingdom of Heaven is within.” He lived his life to show us how to find Spirit and what a human personality looks like when he or she is Spirit-centered. He paved the way for us to find God for ourselves.

Jesus’ divine life plan disclosed itself to him over the course of his lifetime. Just as we can open ourselves to our Indwelling Spirits to find our own higher purpose, Jesus accomplished this during his human lifetime. He is an inspiring guide to help us achieve this for ourselves. Once he fully achieved his own state of “Christ consciousness” he was able to manifest and depict to others his divine self. His life purpose was two-fold and provides the living link between our Creator-Source and humanity: to show each person how to God in himself/herself and for himself/herself, and then to embody the Creator and reveal God’s love for each person to those who were ready to grow in Spirit.

The significance of Jesus’ life overshadows the Christian religion that evolved from human thought and beliefs about his life over the centuries. You can have a personal relationship with Jesus that is more satisfying than any idea coming from a belief system that you may have learned about him. Invite him to enter into your heart and mind and give you answers to the pressing questions about your life. Invite him to show who he is and the role he can play in your life to help you become more of who you truly are. You can ask him any question.

No question is off limits; even those regarding his teachings and the Christian religion that evolved around the events and mysteries of his life. He will give you the truth about himself and the teachings of Christianity that trouble you or cause you to have doubts about or reject him, questions about the crucifixion and why it occurred, questions about God’s relationship to humans, questions about his teachings and resulting human interpretation; anything at all. He is open to hearing your complaints, your questions, and your concerns. He will address each one of them in a manner that will have you amazed and delighted at what you learn.

Jesus is much better and more approachable than any institutionalized belief system about him. In going directly to him, you will get an enhanced picture of who he is and the role he can play in your life to help you become a better person, to find happiness and fulfillment, to accompany you during your struggles, to give you courage and strength, and to help you find the answers to all of the urgent and pressing questions of your life. He was tested here as a human and there is no one living past or present that has his unique perspective on life. He is here for you now. Invite him into your life and allow him to delight you to your heart’s content.

Unity and Peace with All *Accountability Moment*

Proverbs 26:22
The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body.

It severs our being like the surgeon’s knife; cutting through our flesh and slowly navigating it’s blade into our deepest parts, the words of a gossip make their path to our heart in a damaging and oftentimes irreversible manner. A whisper against you is like poison in your veins, an arrow in the back, and the smallest pieces of food consumed and distributed to the deepest parts of your body.

The gentle, whispering wind of a gossip can be felt within any time, place or circumstance. Seldom unaware and always justifiable, we spread hurtful words like a wildfire through our network of friends and companions. As with most rumors, that which began as a fire of comfort for one or two quickly outgrows its boundary and becomes an all-consuming wall of flames, devouring everyone in its path.

Proverbs 26:20 reminds us that fire can only exist with the presence of flammable materials. In the same manner, a vicious rumor can only exist where it finds those who will feed it. “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.” Verse 21 says, “Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.”

It’s easy to play the victim and acknowledge the pain of gossip when you are on the receiving end. I challenge you to evaluate your own habits though. I wonder if you are more often found under the knife of gossip or firmly grasping its painful handle.

As children of God we are commanded to preserve unity and peace with all people (Ephesians 4:3). We are called to be ambassadors of the Lord, sharing and representing the goodness of Him who sent us to everyone we meet. When we participate in spreading whispers and rumors, our witness is hindered along with the message of Christ.

As painful as the knife that enters your own body and as deep reaching as the morsel of a whisper travels into your innermost being, I pray that you would never forget the hurtful damage of a whisper done to those around you. Jesus commands us to do to others only what we would like done to us. He teaches us in Matthew 23:39 to love our neighbors as ourselves. How often we forget our Master’s words when it comes to whispering rumors. The next time flames of gossip come in your direction, I pray that you would not be just another log in the fire, but instead, a quenching shot of water to a potentially devastating action.


If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless (James 1:26).

from www.deeperdevotional.com

Depression 101 for Christians (Borrowed from Christian.net)

Depression has been called the “common cold” of mental disorders, and one source estimates that it disrupts the lives of 30 to 40 million Americans. [4]

Depression is too complicated to solve with a single pat answer. Gary Collins, in Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide (Dallas: Word, 1988), lists seven major categories of causes for depression,[1] and six major approaches to treating it. Each one has multiple options within each category. In addition, people use the word “depression” to cover everything from disappointment over losing a baseball game to the terrifying gloom that drives people to suicide.

The Bible does not use the word “depression,” although it describes people whom we might call depressed. It certainly doesn't mention antidepressant drugs. However, there are a few general principles I would recommend when trying to deal with depression:

Aim to work on the causes of your depression, not just the symptoms.

Scripture points to many issues of sin or conflict that can affect your emotions; most counselors would agree that depression can result from other underlying issues. Don't just worry about the depression itself; check to see what other problems need attention.

Realize that you can't base life on your emotions
Christians base life on truth, not feelings. Philippians 4:1 commands us to rejoice (whether we feel like it or not!). And James 1:2 asks us to “Consider it all joy when we fall into various trials.” Notice that James doesn't tell us to feel joyful; he tells us to reckon, to choose to think about your situation as a spot where you can have joy.

Faith
Choosing to trust truth rather than your feelings may require a lot of faith. And if that is what we mean by asking if faith can solve depression, then faith may be enough in some cases. Trusting what God says rather than your feelings is certainly a more realistic approach to life!

Heed God's Advice
However, many people talk about “faith” and only mean a vague hope that God will somehow pull them through. That's too nebulous a concept to be reliable. Many of the same people who claim to have faith keep plunging through life ignoring God's principles for healthy living. If we spurn the good advice that the Bible contains, we won't escape the consequences - even if we have faith.

Is it right to use antidepressant drugs? Or is faith enough to solve the problem?
Chemical Imbalances
Some cases of depression may be caused by chemical imbalances. If that is the cause, then antidepressant drugs may be the answer. God has allowed mankind to learn about many medical tools, and He sometimes uses medicine to heal. There may also be some cases of depression so severe that medications are necessary to bring the sufferer to the place where they can tackle some of the other issues; such cases might require medication, at least temporarily. I know of no Scripture that forbids such use. [1]

Unresolved Issues, Root Causes
However, any medications should be used with caution. Virtually any medicine has some side effects. Drugs can mask the symptoms, allowing you to ignore root causes. Some people may use antidepressants to avoid approaches that require you to deal with other unresolved issues. It seems easier to pop a pill. A general rule of thumb is to try other strategies first, unless the depression is so severe that the person endangers themselves or finds themselves unable to participate in other therapies.

Depression is a complex area, and severe problems of depression deserve the attention of a pastor or other counselor.

Author: Dr. John Bechtle

Helpful tips for depression

Avoid being alone.

Force yourself to be with people.

Seek help from others.

Sing. Music can uplift your spirit as it did for King Saul (1 Samuel 16:14-23).

Praise and give thanks. “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Lean heavily on the power of God's Word.

Rest confidently in the presence of God's Spirit. “Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance” (Psalm 42:5).

See the good book Healing for Damaged Emotions for more details) [3]

Supplied by David Seamands.

1.Eight major causes of depression. (1) Biological factors, (2) Learned helplessness (sense of being trapped and unable to remedy an intolerable situation), (3) Parental rejection, (4) Abuse, (5) Negative thinking, (6) Life stress, (7) Anger, (8) Guilt. [Josh McDowell and Bob Hostetler, Josh McDowell's Handbook on Counseling Youth (Dallas, Texas: Word Publishing, 1996), chapter 5; Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide, revised edition (Dallas, Texas: Word Publishing, 1988).] [UP]

2.Biological factors—
Depression often has a physical basis. At the simplest level, we know that lack of sleep, insufficient excercise, the side effects of drugs, physical illnesses, or improper diet can all creation depression. Thousands of women experience depression as part of a monthly premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and some are victimized by postpartum depression following childbirth. Other physical influences, like neurochemical malfunctioning, brain tumors, or glandular disorders, are more complicated creators of depression. There is evidence that depression runs in families and may have a genetic basis. -Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide, revised edition (Dallas, Texas: Word, 1988), p. 107. [UP]

Your Pearl of Great Price

from:www.tfalg.com

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.” -Matthew 13:44-46

Beloved, can you afford My kingdom? Could it be that you have sought a treasure which you have not attained the funds to procure?

My blessing costs every last penny of your life: nothing more, and nothing less. Truly, blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,1 and how hardly shall they that be rich enter into the kingdom of God.2

Yet, you have indeed sought My hidden treasure: a field with priceless treasure, a pearl of great price. You have sought, and I have promised, but have you gathered your funds? I am the treasure that you seek, but can you afford Me? Why do you instead heap up for yourself the treasures of this world? My blessing costs every penny of your heart and soul: no more, and no less.

Child, could it be that you have sought a treasure which you have not attained the funds to procure?

A rich man, selling all that he has, and giving great sums of money, yet retaining one small thing, even that man has done foolishly. Do you think I will be satisfied with the abundance of his sacrifices? Ninety nines will not suffice - how I despise these nines!

Yet a poor man, giving almost nothing, (seeing that he has but few values), yet holding nothing back, even this man has done wisely. For he has sold himself unto Me, and though he had little, yet because he held nothing back, to him will come great riches, for he can afford the blessing of My kingdom.3

Again I say, why is it that you have sought a treasure, yet you have not first acquired the funds? Your life is in a continual state of overdraft. I have promised you this treasure, yet if you will not sell all that you have in this life, it will be collected in the next. Either you give up your house of wood, and build with the gold that I will give you, or your house will be sold to the fire which shall try every man's work,4 and you shall purchase My treasure field with the ashes of this earthly life.

Beloved, why should this be so? Have I not given you a firm foundation of rock, through Jesus Christ, upon which to build your house?5 Why then do you build upon such an eternal foundation with the passing wood and hay of this life?

Release to Me your life, and sell to Me all things which you hold dear. My blessing costs every penny of your heart, and of your soul, and of your might: nothing more for the poor man, and nothing less for the rich. Truly, blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“For brass I will bring gold, and for iron I will bring silver, and for wood brass, and for stones iron:” -Isaiah 60:17

How will you be able to afford My gold if you have not first sold to Me your wood? How will you get My silver when your hands still cling to the common stones of the ground? Beloved, empty your hands. I take delight in empty hands, for I both long and love to fill them with good things.

My child, I love empty hands, and broken hearts, and humble minds.6 For I know how to fill the poor man's soul, and tenderly mend the broken heart, and enlighten the simple mind. Why is it that you cannot see that you are empty, and broken, and proudly darkened in mind? I will fill every crevice of your being with My goodness. As water poured into the dry cracks of a barren desert ground, so too will I fill you with the peace and joy of My Spirit.

Beloved, I am grieved at your seditions brought against Me. Why do you make yourself, (in your own eyes), rich, and proud, and wise?7 Why do you fill in the dry cracks of your soul with the oil-slicks of this world? You seek out the grime and grease of this world, and of your old carnal mind, and you clog up your heart with vanity.

My love, why is it that you resist Me? Why is it that you turn from Me? Are you truly rich? For all of your abundances, your wisdom, and your pride, have you any deliverance? Will your corruptible riches, or your loved ones, or your worldly wisdom deliver you in the day of calamity?8 Who has deceived you, that you lean onto this wicked staff? Surely it will come to pass, that the harder you lean upon it, the more it will pierce through your hand and cause you to stumble.9

To be filled, you must be empty. I cannot mix My water with the grease of this world. Why will you wait until heaven to afford My kingdom? Why will you wait until your works are consumed with fire before attaining My incorruptible riches? Would it not be much better to give up all your old wood and hay for My gold? Would it not be much better to build a house that will endure? What else is befitting of My marvelous foundation to build thereupon, but the finest gold, and the choicest of stones and jewels?

Why will you build a house with the corruption and passing glory of this life? Why do you trust in the abundance of your hands, and in the beauty and splendor of those things which are now seen? Do you not know that the things which are seen have been created by a much greater glory, by that which is unseen?10 Either sell to Me now, or have such things burned, and you will sell to Me the ashes thereafter.

“No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” -Luke 9:62

Beloved, let Me now reason with you. I love you more than you can think, and I long to bless. I long to make My love known, but how scarcely do you know of Me! How scarcely do you allow My love through! I am as water poured unto a cracked desert ground, yet how little do you soak in! How few of My blessings, and how little of My Spirit of peace and joy do you let seep into your heart!

My beautiful child, that which you do not give up to Me: your own riches, and your own loves - these are the very things which are poverty to you. And yet, how shall you ever afford Me, if you do not give Me all? My price is all: no more, no less. It is not a quantity, but a percentage - it is one hundred percent: nothing more, nothing less.

Dear child, why do you look back to that old land? Why do you turn back to that land of sin and bondage, lo, even in thought! For, Jesus Christ is the Bridge, and My kingdom is the promised land. Beloved, I have bridged you unto Myself in love. Beloved, I have taken you from that dark land of sin, and have redeemed you for My very own self. Beloved, My bridge only goes one way!

As I took the children of Israel through the parted Red Sea, so too have I redeemed you and brought you through.11 As they crossed the impossible, from death unto life, so too have I done with you. And as the sea closed back up, one thing did they know, and one thing must you now know: it is impossible for you to turn back by the same way you came! If this is so, then why do you often live as though it were not?

Jesus Christ is the Bridge, and His life was laid down for your sins; yes, My beloved, for you. He has laid His body down, even down to death, and has allowed you to walk over Him into life. But, is He not now lifted up? Is He not now raised from the dead? I tell you, the Bridge is now lifted up from the earth! So too likewise is He lifted from your old life, that you should not return to that land of sin.12

My child, if this is so, why then do you seek to travel backwards? You grieve Me in thought, word, and deed. You grieve Me when you seek flight back to that old land of bondage. What is it that you seek? What is it that you think you lack? Rather, is it not that the sins and lusts of this present life have blinded your eyes, that you cannot see My blessed hand outstretched toward you? And is it not that you still cling to the things of this world, that you cannot instead latch onto My blessings?

In every failing, in every defeat, in every pain, there I am, with arms outstretched, longing to comfort, longing to help, longing to heal. The things in this world ought not to be so: this world has gone terribly amiss, and is covered under a dark canopy of sin. Beloved, when you choose out your old ways, you cover yourself in darkness, and partake of this canopy.

Come out, and be My special treasure! Be not blinded by sin, but behold My arm to save. Be not entangled with lust, but freely reach out and take My hand to help. Be not half-hearted, but sell out to Me all of your own self. Empty out, as a purse, all that is within your heart, and I will be to you that pearl of great price.

I will be your all-sufficient, your all-capable, your all-merciful, and ever-faithful God. Father to the fatherless; true riches to the bankrupt in soul; true wisdom to the humble in mind; true love to the brokenhearted; the all-in-all.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matthew 5:3

Luke 18:24-25

Mark 10:29-31

1 Corinthians 3:11-15

Luke 6:47-48

Psalm 34:17-19

Revelation 3:15-19

Proverbs 11:14

Isaiah 36:6

Hebrews 11:3

Exodus 14

Romans 6:1-4

The Eleventh Teardrop (from Tears from a Lonely God)

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.” -Matthew 13:44-46

Beloved, can you afford My kingdom? Could it be that you have sought a treasure which you have not attained the funds to procure?

My blessing costs every last penny of your life: nothing more, and nothing less. Truly, blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,1 and how hardly shall they that be rich enter into the kingdom of God.2

Yet, you have indeed sought My hidden treasure: a field with priceless treasure, a pearl of great price. You have sought, and I have promised, but have you gathered your funds? I am the treasure that you seek, but can you afford Me? Why do you instead heap up for yourself the treasures of this world? My blessing costs every penny of your heart and soul: no more, and no less.

Child, could it be that you have sought a treasure which you have not attained the funds to procure?

A rich man, selling all that he has, and giving great sums of money, yet retaining one small thing, even that man has done foolishly. Do you think I will be satisfied with the abundance of his sacrifices? Ninety nines will not suffice - how I despise these nines!

Yet a poor man, giving almost nothing, (seeing that he has but few values), yet holding nothing back, even this man has done wisely. For he has sold himself unto Me, and though he had little, yet because he held nothing back, to him will come great riches, for he can afford the blessing of My kingdom.3

Again I say, why is it that you have sought a treasure, yet you have not first acquired the funds? Your life is in a continual state of overdraft. I have promised you this treasure, yet if you will not sell all that you have in this life, it will be collected in the next. Either you give up your house of wood, and build with the gold that I will give you, or your house will be sold to the fire which shall try every man's work,4 and you shall purchase My treasure field with the ashes of this earthly life.

Beloved, why should this be so? Have I not given you a firm foundation of rock, through Jesus Christ, upon which to build your house?5 Why then do you build upon such an eternal foundation with the passing wood and hay of this life?

Release to Me your life, and sell to Me all things which you hold dear. My blessing costs every penny of your heart, and of your soul, and of your might: nothing more for the poor man, and nothing less for the rich. Truly, blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“For brass I will bring gold, and for iron I will bring silver, and for wood brass, and for stones iron:” -Isaiah 60:17

How will you be able to afford My gold if you have not first sold to Me your wood? How will you get My silver when your hands still cling to the common stones of the ground? Beloved, empty your hands. I take delight in empty hands, for I both long and love to fill them with good things.

My child, I love empty hands, and broken hearts, and humble minds.6 For I know how to fill the poor man's soul, and tenderly mend the broken heart, and enlighten the simple mind. Why is it that you cannot see that you are empty, and broken, and proudly darkened in mind? I will fill every crevice of your being with My goodness. As water poured into the dry cracks of a barren desert ground, so too will I fill you with the peace and joy of My Spirit.

Beloved, I am grieved at your seditions brought against Me. Why do you make yourself, (in your own eyes), rich, and proud, and wise?7 Why do you fill in the dry cracks of your soul with the oil-slicks of this world? You seek out the grime and grease of this world, and of your old carnal mind, and you clog up your heart with vanity.

My love, why is it that you resist Me? Why is it that you turn from Me? Are you truly rich? For all of your abundances, your wisdom, and your pride, have you any deliverance? Will your corruptible riches, or your loved ones, or your worldly wisdom deliver you in the day of calamity?8 Who has deceived you, that you lean onto this wicked staff? Surely it will come to pass, that the harder you lean upon it, the more it will pierce through your hand and cause you to stumble.9

To be filled, you must be empty. I cannot mix My water with the grease of this world. Why will you wait until heaven to afford My kingdom? Why will you wait until your works are consumed with fire before attaining My incorruptible riches? Would it not be much better to give up all your old wood and hay for My gold? Would it not be much better to build a house that will endure? What else is befitting of My marvelous foundation to build thereupon, but the finest gold, and the choicest of stones and jewels?

Why will you build a house with the corruption and passing glory of this life? Why do you trust in the abundance of your hands, and in the beauty and splendor of those things which are now seen? Do you not know that the things which are seen have been created by a much greater glory, by that which is unseen?10 Either sell to Me now, or have such things burned, and you will sell to Me the ashes thereafter.

“No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” -Luke 9:62

Beloved, let Me now reason with you. I love you more than you can think, and I long to bless. I long to make My love known, but how scarcely do you know of Me! How scarcely do you allow My love through! I am as water poured unto a cracked desert ground, yet how little do you soak in! How few of My blessings, and how little of My Spirit of peace and joy do you let seep into your heart!

My beautiful child, that which you do not give up to Me: your own riches, and your own loves - these are the very things which are poverty to you. And yet, how shall you ever afford Me, if you do not give Me all? My price is all: no more, no less. It is not a quantity, but a percentage - it is one hundred percent: nothing more, nothing less.

Dear child, why do you look back to that old land? Why do you turn back to that land of sin and bondage, lo, even in thought! For, Jesus Christ is the Bridge, and My kingdom is the promised land. Beloved, I have bridged you unto Myself in love. Beloved, I have taken you from that dark land of sin, and have redeemed you for My very own self. Beloved, My bridge only goes one way!

As I took the children of Israel through the parted Red Sea, so too have I redeemed you and brought you through.11 As they crossed the impossible, from death unto life, so too have I done with you. And as the sea closed back up, one thing did they know, and one thing must you now know: it is impossible for you to turn back by the same way you came! If this is so, then why do you often live as though it were not?

Jesus Christ is the Bridge, and His life was laid down for your sins; yes, My beloved, for you. He has laid His body down, even down to death, and has allowed you to walk over Him into life. But, is He not now lifted up? Is He not now raised from the dead? I tell you, the Bridge is now lifted up from the earth! So too likewise is He lifted from your old life, that you should not return to that land of sin.12

My child, if this is so, why then do you seek to travel backwards? You grieve Me in thought, word, and deed. You grieve Me when you seek flight back to that old land of bondage. What is it that you seek? What is it that you think you lack? Rather, is it not that the sins and lusts of this present life have blinded your eyes, that you cannot see My blessed hand outstretched toward you? And is it not that you still cling to the things of this world, that you cannot instead latch onto My blessings?

In every failing, in every defeat, in every pain, there I am, with arms outstretched, longing to comfort, longing to help, longing to heal. The things in this world ought not to be so: this world has gone terribly amiss, and is covered under a dark canopy of sin. Beloved, when you choose out your old ways, you cover yourself in darkness, and partake of this canopy.

Come out, and be My special treasure! Be not blinded by sin, but behold My arm to save. Be not entangled with lust, but freely reach out and take My hand to help. Be not half-hearted, but sell out to Me all of your own self. Empty out, as a purse, all that is within your heart, and I will be to you that pearl of great price.

I will be your all-sufficient, your all-capable, your all-merciful, and ever-faithful God. Father to the fatherless; true riches to the bankrupt in soul; true wisdom to the humble in mind; true love to the brokenhearted; the all-in-all.




Matthew 5:3

Luke 18:24-25

Mark 10:29-31

1 Corinthians 3:11-15

Luke 6:47-48

Psalm 34:17-19

Revelation 3:15-19

Proverbs 11:14

Isaiah 36:6

Hebrews 11:3

Exodus 14

Romans 6:1-4

Agnus Dei/The Lamb of God

I Pray!

Thats Why I Praise You

Who am I

Birthday Lesson

Psalm 95:1-2 - Oh come let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into His presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise!
This week I read a piece on "Worship" which compared it to a birthday party. At first I thought this rather frivolous until I read further. The birthday person is the centre of attention and the birthday cake honours him or her. That person is the centre of attention and the rest of us, no matter how important we are, take a back seat. We sing and celebrate the fact that the birthday person was born. This says something about how important a birthday person is. We don't usually celebrate a dog's birthday. The fact is that on this day, so many years ago, God's image came into the world in the form of the birthday person, unique and special, different from anyone else on earth.

When we honour something that God has made, we honour Him. All creation shows His glory, most of all, human kind. When we honour someone for their achievements, if we really think about it, we honour God the Giver, the Enabler.

What does it mean to worship? We are the only creatures on earth given the freedom and intelligence to worship Him as we choose. It is in the act of worshipping our Creator that our dignity is most evident. Worship takes many forms. Like the birthday party it can be a sense of joyous and uninhibited celebration. God is alive! He reigns over the whole world!

Prayer: Heavenly Father help us to worship you with awe, with celebration, in spirit and in truth. In Jesus' name. Amen.